Ella Sydnor is a Care Professional of the Month at Home Instead® of Collin County, Texas. While that’s quite an honor, Ella likely would’ve been in line to receive a Lifetime Achievement Award for family caregiving if there were such an award. Over the years, many people witnessed Ella’s herculean efforts to help her loved ones. Ella’s daughter Kim passed away at 48 in 2021, years after Ella’s mother had died at 50. Kim’s cause of death was listed as congestive heart failure, but the discovery of her non-Hodgkins lymphoma at age 19 set into motion round after round of medical challenges, including heart disease, kidney disease, diabetes, shingles and gout.
Following the non-Hodgkins lymphoma diagnosis, Kim received a bone-marrow transplant from a non-family donor in Mount Vernon, New York. Ella, who faithfully remained alongside her daughter as much as possible, explained: “It all started when she began to suffer swelling in her jaw on the right side. Medical professionals thought it might be an issue with wisdom teeth, but it began the journey leading up to the diagnosis of non-Hodgkins lymphoma. Kim lived for 25 years after the bone marrow transplant in 1996. That procedure resulted in her becoming a four-time cancer survivor. Throughout her life, she would endure extensive chemo and radiation therapy, open-heart surgery and kidney failure resulting in the need for dialysis.”
While Ella’s daughter still worked while she was sick, Ella herself passed up promotions at her workplace because she made her daughter’s needs a priority. Ella said: “My daughter was a lot of my strength. I’m happy God chose me to be her mother.”
Kim continued to work until August 2021. One day, she admitted, “Mommy, I am tired.” Ella recalled: “When I heard those words, I was sad because I knew the end was near. She always had fought so hard, but she ran out of energy. She had blood clots in her lungs, and it was insurmountable at that point.”
Following her daughter’s death, Ella and her family established an endowment at the University of Oklahoma, to serve as an annual scholarship in her honor. Kim had worked for many years at the OU Medical Center and the Stephenson Cancer Center in Oklahoma City. “During Kim’s many hospital stays and treatments,” Ella said, “I was always there providing care, companionship and encouragement until the day she transitioned. I thought it would be fitting to establish a legacy because she helped people daily at the OU Medical Center.”
Ella’s support for her daughter wasn’t her first family caregiving experience. “At a very young age, my dad had a stroke and passed away. My mother became a single parent with four children. Being the oldest female, I was charged with helping to take care of younger siblings, combing hair, bathing, helping with homework and more,” Ella recalled.
“My mother eventually became disabled with rheumatoid arthritis and was confined to a wheelchair. Through the years, I provided care for my mother, cleaning, cooking, taking her to doctor appointments and more while visiting her during her many hospital stays. After I got married and had two children, I still provided care for her until she passed away at age 50 from stomach cancer.”
Ella had never consciously set out to become a role model as a family caregiver, but that is what happened. “We’re helping others, but we don’t realize how it helps others who are watching us. When I think of my experiences with my daughter and mother – as well as my Home Instead responsibilities – I look at these events as having found my purpose here on Earth,” said Ella, who has worked for Home Instead for the past four years.
Ella has found solace in her daughter’s favorite quote, which comes from an unknown author: “Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won and all the fears you have overcome.”
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