Home Care in Denham Springs When a Spouse Becomes the Main Caregiver

Do you provide most of the day-to-day care for your spouse in Denham Springs? You may want to think about getting help with home care since your sleep, appointments, errands, and/or your health routine are starting to suffer. You do not need to stop caring for your spouse. Most caregivers try to do what they can to distribute the burden, and that should be the goal.

That is an important distinction. Many spouses will think, “I am managing” and that is completely accurate. Meals are getting made, appointments are remembered, and laundry gets done. Your spouse has everything they need.

Managing the care routine and having a sustainable life are two different things.

Home care is one of the many things that can help both.

What Usually Shifts First to the Healthier Spouse in Denham Springs?

The changes are often subtle.

Maybe your spouse used to handle breakfast while you took care of dinner. Now you handle all meals, schedule all appointments and all the driving, monitor all household duties, and always stay near the bathroom during bathing and remain near your spouse while they walk around the house/room.

Ultimately, the duties which were once shared have now become one person's daily responsibility.

Look at how your own routine has been disrupted. Have you been cancelling or rescheduling your appointments? Has getting errands done gotten harder because you don’t want to leave your spouse alone? Have you woken in the night and then done the entire routine by yourself?

Those disruptions can actually be signs that the household needs additional support.

You do not need to wait till you need additional support to a great extreme.

Home Instead has a variety of home care services to help with the routine activities of daily living, such as meals, light housekeeping, companionship, errands and transportation, personal care and hygiene, and mobility assistance as well as reminders to take medications, based on the individual’s Care Plan and the services available at the location.

That can change what the spouse-caregiver’s day looks like without completely removing them from the equation.

How to Determine What a Care Pro Can Do for You

Start with the tasks that are taking up a lot of your time, interrupting your sleep, or keeping you from being able to leave the house.

Do not start by asking, “How much care does my spouse need?”

Ask a less complicated question:

“Which of our daily activities would improve the most if we were able to have someone else do them?”

This will result in a more useful Care Plan.

For some Denham Springs households, the answer may be a small amount of scheduled support instead of care for the entire day.

We provide respite care designed for caregiver families in which a caregiver needs to be replaced for a period of time.

That period needs to be designated for something.

You could use it to attend your doctor’s appointment without worrying about getting back. You could go to the grocery store, go out to lunch with a friend, go do something across town, or just sleep.

Those are not extras. They are necessary parts of your routine that can disappear if you are the only one doing the care routine.

How to Keep Your Spouse Involved in Decisions

Including home care should not mean that decisions are now being made for your spouse.

Start with parts of the routine that your spouse wants help with.

Someone may like to have help with the preparation of meals, but want to keep helping with other parts of their familiar routine. Another may feel ok with a Care Pro providing them with transport, but may want to keep their personal care and the rest of the routine at their control.

Give them that opportunity.

I want to use this time to see how we can preserve your activities and the things you wish to continue doing, rather than making you speak to everything your spouse is now incapable of doing on their own.

I want to ask these questions to help you express how you are feeling in this situation:

How is your day feeling? Are there any times in the day that feel frustrating or tiring?

Would you be more comfortable with something being done or taken care of by someone other than you?

What are things that you want to do or are things that you want to keep between you and your spouse?

What is your preference in having someone assist you, if at all, and when would you be most comfortable with having someone assist you?

What would you need to have done to make this new change feel less awkward or less like a new person will be in the house?

Since we have all of these agreed upon support needs, a Care Plan can then support these needs, instead of trying to replace existing routines that are still working.

It is crucial to have choice in home care services.

It is extra important in this case, as home care services are used to support a spouse that was once the primary caregiver, and was formerly a spouse. Having some home care services would relieve some stress for the primary caregiver, making more time available for the couple to be a couple again, instead of just caregivers.

What Home Care in Denham Springs Does Not Replace: Nursing, Therapy, or Medical Judgment

Non-medical home care has its limits.

A Home Instead Care Pro can support the routines provided in the Care Plan, but a Care Pro cannot be a nurse, physical therapist, occupational therapist, physician, or another licensed healthcare Provider.

That means home care should not be used to replace nursing, therapy, clinical assessment or medical judgment for your spouse.

Medication support is an area where the difference is apparent. An example is a Care Pro may give medication reminders, but an example of the difference is making medication decisions or providing clinical medication management.

Some families may need both kinds of support.

One example is your spouse could receive therapy or skilled healthcare services from an appropriate medical provider while a Care Pro offers meals, companionship, assistance with their daily routine, and/or help with household tasks in between the provider’s visits.

The goal is to offer the right kind of support to meet the right need.

Our Baton Rouge office serves Denham Springs as part of its local service area. You can consider the whole Baton Rouge service area to determine if local home care meets your family’s needs.

FAQ: Spouse Caregivers in Denham Springs

When do I seek home care if I can still manage my spouse’s care?

There are many indications for which caregiver support is warranted. For instance, if not having support caregivers makes it impossible to sleep, attend one’s own appointments, or otherwise complete necessary activities of daily living, including errands, sustaining relationships, or care of oneself, then caregiver support should be requested. Help should not be requested only as a last resort. Home care can start off with responsibility for providing support for a few days a week.

Does home care mean I no longer get to be a caregiver?

Not necessarily! Home care allows you to delegate parts of care that you no longer want or have to do, while still doing other duties that you and your spouse want to do together. A Care Pro may be able to do some jobs like personal care, or help with meals and errands, and maybe do some company care, while you take care of other things that you and your spouse still want to do together.

What kinds of things can a Home Instead Care Pro do?

It depends, but a Care Pro may do personal care, help check off meals and errands, do some house cleaning (only if it’s light), and some company and help getting around, and reminders for meds. The goal here is to divide some tasks of the caregiving day so you as a spouse isn’t responsible for it all.

Do you need to be completely done for respite care?

Not at all! Respite care is meant to help before it gets to that point. It allows you scheduled time off so you can do your appointments, errands, self caretime , or whatever you need to do, while still having at home care support for your spouse. Starting this care at this point may also make it feel less disruptive for you both.

Can a Care Pro provide nursing or anything therapy related?

Not at all. Home Instead provides home care that is not related to nursing or therapy. A Care Pro can’t do those things. If your spouse needs nursing or therapy related things, then that should be done by an appropriate healthcare provider. Home care can still be used alongside medical care to support other daily routines done at home.

My spouse does not want outside help, what should I do?

To begin, see which part of the current routine your spouse would be most comfortable sharing. An easier starting point may be discussing this, as opposed to discussing difficult topics such as care. Include your spouse in the decisions surrounding the preferences, tasks, and schedules in their Care Plan as soon as possible.

How do we begin talking about home care in Denham Springs?

Start with the responsibilities that are the hardest for you to consistently accomplish. Write down your week activities and determine where other people could help out. Once you have done that, approach a local care professional and see if the tasks that you described would qualify for non-medical home care and see what Care Plan options may be available.

If you are providing care to your spouse in Denham Springs and it has impacted the routine so much that you no longer have time for your own needs, errands, rest, or time with your spouse, a discussion prior to a major change is warranted. Contact our Home Instead Baton Rouge to start building a Care Plan for your Denham Springs household.

About the Author

Matt Cohn has spent more than 25 years helping older adults and their families find support that allows them to remain comfortable at home. He owns Home Instead locations serving Baton Rouge and Hammond in Louisiana, along with locations in Georgia, and writes about practical decisions involving home care, family caregiving, and caregiver relationships.