Losing a partner or spouse is a devasting and life-changing experience. When you mourn, you face many different emotions and an unexplainable pain that seems unending. In a room full of people, you feel alone and separate.
Just trying to put one foot in front of the other becomes an overwhelming challenge. There simply are no rules about how you should feel when grieving the death of a spouse.
As hard as it might be with all the changes going on, it is important to take care of yourself as you work on putting your own life back together. The pain you feel now will NOT always be there.
5 Stages of Grief
Denial
It is normal to be in denial when you first learn of your loss. It is nearly unavoidable. Denial is a temporary way to deal with the overwhelming shock of different emotions all at once. It is a defense mechanism and a step in the right direction as your brain starts to process what has happened.
Anger
Once the reality of your loss wears off, you are faced with incredible pain. Feelings of frustration and helplessness can turn into anger. It is even natural to be angry with your loved one who died. We only learn about our capacity to handle situations by moving through them.
Bargaining
At this grieving stage, you dwell on what you could have done to prevent the death of your loved one. What if or why me scenarios can make you feel guilty, leading you to bargain with a higher power. If you find yourself stuck, it might be time to look into grief counseling.
Depression
This is a long period of sadness and a normal stage of grief, so do not be talked out of it. At this stage, you also realize you are still here and healing.
Acceptance
Accepting the reality of your loss is the final stage of grief. This is where you learn to be grateful for what was. You may still feel sad but you will start to look forward and plan for your future. You will be excited for good times and come to find joy in life again.
Everyone goes through the stages of grief in their own way. You may go back and forth between them or even skip one or more stages altogether. Specific reminders such as the anniversary of a death, a familiar song, or a special event can trigger the return of grief.
Going through a dramatic change in your life can result in numerous emotions. Moving on does not mean you are leaving your loved one behind or forgetting that they ever existed.
Healing from the loss of a loved one just means you are moving forward and bringing the memories of them with you. You will never forget the partner or spouse you lost, nor will you want to. But in time, you can start to put your life back together and return to your daily life.
6 Ways to Deal with Grief and Loss
- Turn to family and friends. It is important to lean on the people who care about you the most. Whether an ear to listen to or a shoulder to cry on, do not be afraid to tell family and friends what you need from them.
- Draw comfort from your faith. Spiritual traditions such as praying, meditating, or going to church can offer solace during your mourning. Embrace the comfort your religious rituals can provide you.
- Give yourself time. Grieving is a process and since everyone grieves differently, accepting your feelings is important to heal from the loss of a partner or spouse. Mourning takes time and there is no right or wrong way to do it.
- Talk to a therapist or grief counselor. It is okay to seek the help of a therapist or grief counselor. They can help you work through intense emotions and obstacles related to your grieving.
- Take care of yourself. As hard as it may be at times, looking after your emotional and physical needs is important. Making sure you exercise regularly, eat well, and get enough sleep will also help you to get through this difficult time.
- Join a support group. Sharing your grief with others who have experienced similar losses can help you feel more connected and normal with the way you feel.
Healing from the loss of a partner or spouse can last for a long time. The stress alone can quickly deplete your energy. After such a significant loss, life may never seem quite the same again.
You can also learn more about managing grief and loss for caregivers.
When you lose someone you love, you may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions. The pain of grief can disrupt your physical health, too, making it hard to eat, sleep, or even think straight.
Home Instead can be another support for you or your senior loved one through the grieving process. We provide senior in-home care services in Lafayette, LA, that can help you or your family member with personal care assistance and companionship after the death of a spouse or partner.
We have a passion for putting our clients first. Let us offer you or your senior loved one comfort and hope to live life with dignity. Speak to our Care Manager to schedule a free, no-obligation care consultation.
Sources:
https://www.ncoa.org/article/the-widowhood-effect-how-to-survive-the-loss-of-a-spouse
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm
