Caring for a parent or loved one with dementia can bring up
a lot
of feelings—and sometimes, family drama. Maybe your siblings aren't stepping up. Maybe you’re all seeing the situation differently. Whatever the case, tension at home only makes caregiving harder.
Here are six honest, helpful ways to ease that stress and bring your family together:
1. Keep Everyone in the Loop
People don’t know what they don’t know. Share regular updates—even quick ones—so family stays informed and connected. Use a group text, a shared Google Doc, or even a weekly voice memo.
2. Lead with Curiosity, Not Judgment
If your sister’s not showing up much, ask
why
—not just
why not
. Everyone processes dementia differently. Maybe she’s overwhelmed. Or maybe she doesn’t know how to help.
3. Ask for Help (Specifically!)
Instead of saying “I’m drowning,” say:
“Can you cover Friday’s doctor’s appointment?”
“Could you send $200 to help with respite care this month?”
People are more likely to show up when they know exactly what’s needed.
4. Share Big Decisions
Even if you’re the one managing daily care,
don’t make major choices alone
. Talk through things like hiring a caregiver or considering memory care with your siblings. Collaboration prevents resentment.
5. Leave the Past in the Past
Caregiving isn’t a time to rehash old dynamics. Approach each other as adults—doing the best you can now, not stuck in the past.
6. Bring in a Referee if Needed
If family talks always go sideways, bring in backup. A family counselor, social worker, or geriatric care manager can help you have better conversations—and focus on your loved one’s needs, not old wounds.
You’re Not Alone—Really
Family dynamics are tough. Dementia makes them tougher. But working together
is
possible—and it makes a world of difference for your loved one.
Want more guidance? Start here:
- Caregiver Chats Podcast: Real talk with Dr. Lakelyn Hogan and expert guests
- Home Safety Considerations for Families Living with Alzheimer’s
- Tips to Manage Dementia-related Anger and Aggression
- 9 Simple Activities to Support Brain Health
Person-Centered Dementia Care
Home Instead Care Professionals are trained using a one-of-a-kind protocol for Alzheimer’s and other dementias. Our person-centered approach honors your loved one and preserves their dignity.
