When it comes to symptoms of dementia, inappropriate behavior is quite common. Although it can be uncomfortable at times for both you and your loved one to navigate, we want to help you create a safe, positive environment for everyone.
Our Care Pros have worked with countless dementia patients showing actions not appropriate to the surrounding environment with lots of success. Here are some of our most asked questions and our advice on how to work through these symptoms together:
Why is my loved one with dementia acting inappropriately?
This is a question we receive frequently at Home Instead. The truth is, because dementia is a complex condition, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what causes these outbursts. Dementia affects the brain, often leading to cognitive impairment and emotional distress.
Inappropriate behavior can be a way for your loved one to communicate their needs or frustrations when words fail them. It might be their way of expressing discomfort, confusion, or fear.
Although these outbursts can be frustrating, uncomfortable, or difficult to navigate, as their caregiver it’s your job to stand in their shoes. Recognize their actions aren't intentional, but a result of struggling to navigate the world around them.
What are common inappropriate behaviors seen in people with dementia?
Inappropriate behaviors in dementia can take many forms, and each person's experience is unique. However, there are some common behaviors you might encounter:
- Aggression: This can include physical or verbal aggression, often triggered by frustration, fear, or confusion.
- Wandering: Your loved one may wander aimlessly, sometimes putting themselves in dangerous situations.
- Hallucinations and Delusions: They may experience things that aren't real, leading to anxious or unusual behaviors.
- Inappropriate Sexual Behavior: This can be particularly uncomfortable for you as a caregiver, as dementia can cause a loss of inhibitions.
- Verbal Outbursts: Your loved one might use foul language or make hurtful comments, not necessarily directed at you but stemming from their cognitive decline.
We understand any of these inappropriate behaviors are hard to manage from both a caregiving and family perspective. Although you as their most thoughtful caregiver understand these behaviors are part of the dementia journey, the weight can feel heavy. Our Care Pros are trained specifically to work with your loved one of dementia symptoms just like this. You are not alone and we are here to help.
How do I tell my loved one their behavior is not appropriate?
Telling your loved one their behavior is not appropriate is a delicate task that requires compassion for their condition, as well as a responsibility to keep themselves and others around them safe. Keep in mind because their cognitive abilities are declining, this may have to be a conversation that occurs multiple times before changes are seen. Be patient- you’re both doing the best you can.
To start, approach the conversation with a sense of understanding. Use a gentle tone and non-verbal cues like a comforting touch. Acknowledge that you understand things from their perspective, but a change has to be made. Above all, avoid confrontation or blame- this is not productive in any conversation, let alone this one.
An example our Care Pros often use is this: "I can see that you're upset, but it's not okay to hurt others. Let's find a better way to express your feelings." The key is to redirect their behavior without causing additional distress.
I want both my loved one and myself to feel safe at home… How do I manage this with their inappropriate behavior?
Creating a safe and comfortable home environment for both you and your loved one is a top priority. However, when dealing with inappropriate behavior, it can be challenging. Here are some tips we recommend to our families to start with:
Right off the bat, look at your loved one’s daily routine. Is it regimented or more loose? Is there room for things they enjoy doing daily? Predictability can provide a huge sense of security to your loved one’s with dementia, allowing you both to reduce agitation.
When it comes to what your loved one enjoys, this can create a huge sense of purpose in their life. Without this quality time doing what they love, boredom can creep in. This often is the root cause for inappropriate outbursts and uncomfortable situations to occur.
Here at Home Instead, we want to help your family with whatever caregiving needs you need. If you’re struggling with how to manage your loved one’s inappropriate behavior in any regard, please don’t hesitate to contact Home Instead for additional support.
