It’s had to find the words to adequately express the depth of gratitude I feel towards you. My best attempt comes by way of a story.
My mother was always a bright shining star. She was happy, creative and optimistic. I was so proud of her strength and courage. She left an abusive marriage at a time when most women didn’t even know they had a choice. She remained strong, even after the death of my brother. She was always in charge, both at home and at work. I respected her for being a supervisor at a big city optical company and for compassionately sticking her neck out to hire the first African American at her company. She owned and personally maintained our home; doing all the landscaping, painting, electrical work, car repairs, etc. The roles she played bucked the trend for women of that era. I looked up to her and followed her like the Northern Star.
Over the last two years however, my mother’s optimism has become clouded by fears that rush through her life like a storm-blowing her off balance. Her confidence is shaken by each unsteady step she takes. Her sense of taste, sight, hearing and smell no longer provide her with reliable information so her world is becoming unfamiliar and scarier by the day. As she loses control over her own life she becomes more controlling of those around her.
The mother I once knew is fading as loneliness, fears of falling, and fears of death take over. Her humor, one light-hearted and life-giving is becoming more sarcastic and hurtful. And now, judgmental and prejudicial comments sometimes over-shadow her compassion.
I wondered why anyone meeting her at this stage in her life would be willing to deal with her anxiety, anger, demands and accusations of carelessness and theft. How could someone take care for my mom now, if they didn’t understand her past of hadn’t shared years of joy with her?
The reality is many people haven’t. They’ve found it too difficult to take care of my mom.
That’s why I am so grateful to you Jeanie. You have hung in there with us. Oh, I so appreciate all the things you do for my mother: taking her grocery shopping, to doctor’s appointments, making sure her blood pressure and medicines are taken correctly and that she is eating enough. You do everything that Home Instead expects of a care-giver. But it is the things you do that only a loved one would do, that has made the biggest difference to me and my mother. The very first day I met you, you said, “I will love her like my own mom.” And that is exactly what you have done.
You stepped in and helped out like the sister I never had. You asked me to go out for tea so we could strategize how to take care of mom. You call with concerns and share tips when you discover things that help. You pay close attention to and follow the routines that give mom comfort. You expand mom’s world by taking her on mini road trips to parks. You include her in your life by sharing pictures and stories about your family. You call her when you are away and you even find thoughtful presents for her. Like a loving daughter, you visited mom in the hospital. No one had to ask you to go, you went because you care.
Before you came into our life my mother’s world had shrunk. She no longer had a chorus of people singing her praises. She no longer did the things that once provided her evidence of her worth. She questioned her own value. I grew weary of trying to convince her of her strength. My encouragement could not carry the weight of my mother’s heavy doubts.
I felt beaten down.
I mourned the mother I was losing, until you showed me how to find her. You helped me reconnect with my mom the day you brought cookies to Judson for my mom to decorate. I was filled with joy seeing her go into patients’ rooms spreading Christmas cheer as she proudly gave away the cookies she had decorated.
You showed me what happens when I stop focusing on problems and focus more on creating opportunities for joy. My cherished mom may seem remote at times, but now I know that if I look beyond the problems, I can still find her.
Thanks for all that you do for us Jeanie, it is more than words can express.
Love, Margery B. and Jan T.
Dear Sheila,
My sister and I would like to thank you. Ted, and the rest of the staff of HomeInstead for the excellent care you provided my mother in the last years of her life. All the women you sent us provided wonderful sensitive care. Wilma was with our mother for the longest and became my mother’s trusted and much loved caretaker. She kept in touch with us about any concerns regarding our mother’s health and well-being, and made herself available whenever we needed to talk to her. I don’t know what we would have done without her these years, and particularly in the last months before our mother died. Wilma does her job exceptionally well and you are fortunate to have her on your caretaking staff. We were also impressed with Jackie, Keetan, and Ruth Dean who cared for our mother for less time but who also provided excellent care. I enjoyed and was enriched by my personal contacts with all three of these women. Although I really didn’t have much of a chance to get to know Gloria and Helen, I have no doubt that they provided high quality care in the short time they were with our mother.
Without HomeInstead, our mother would not have been able to remain in her home until the end of her life as she wished. We are forever indebted to you
Sincerely yours,
Julie
Dear Sheila,
I want to express my deep gratitude to you for arranging such wonderful caretakers for my mother and being so flexible regarding scheduling towards the end of my mother’s life. I know it was a challenge to keep these women available to fill in when my sister and I were not in Cleveland. For that we have you to thank, as well as them.
I had the privilege to meet Ruth and Jackie during my last two visits to Cleveland. I was very impressed by the caliber and compassion of these two women. They were not only very competent and reliable caregivers but, more importantly, they genuinely cared about my mother. Every terminally ill individual and their family should be as fortunate as we were to have such outstanding help during a most difficult time.
And then, of course, there is Wilma. Words cannot express the love my mother felt and my sister and I feel towards her. Respect, compassion, love, competency are only a few of the adjectives which describe her. Over the years she was with my mother, she became a member of our family and will remain so always. She was with me when my mother died, for which I am forever grateful. I could not have gotten through the very emotional and heartbreaking last few hours of my mother’s life without her. She was both strong and loving which eased my mother’s transition and my acceptance of the inevitable. I consider her a friend and sister. She epitomizes everything a caretaker should be. I hope your organization will acknowledge her in some way. She is truly one of a kind.
Sincerely,
Nancy
Dear Sirs:
We have been delighted to be helped by Ron. When he appears at our door, a pleasant time occurs as he tells us humorous stories while seeing that my husband gets to his class prepared and on time. Ron is a gentleman and gregarious. He knows many people and so, while he and my husband go on their outings, my husband meets pleasant people who enliven his day. Errands run by the two of them give my husband normalizing activities to perform and help me by reducing my work load.
We are grateful to have such a polite and reliable companion to help us.
Very truly yours,
Esther M
Dear Diane and Kate,
Just a tiny adjustment in my dad’s schedule that I wanted to let you know of: my dad’s dental appointment has been moved UP on Saturday to 10:30 a.m. Thus I would like Qiana to begin work at 9:00 a.m. on Saturday, so that we don’t have to rush.
On a very positive note, Shadiyah, during one of the shifts that she took from Venita, helped my father to get downstairs using the stair glide several times. My father was delighted, and he was especially pleased to be able to work on some of his projects and to expand the orb of his activities. I really want to commend Shadiyah for the initiative that she showed, and I know that you will feel similarly.
Thanks for your help, and it is off to Cleveland.
Best regards,
Sarah
Mrs. Adams couldn’t write a letter because her hand shakes, so she called to the office because she wanted to give great praise for Donita. Mrs. Adams said her husband has really improved since Donita started as his CAREGiver. She takes initiative and is wonderful. What a great help. Mrs. Said once her husband is ready to be on his own they are going to continue with Donita coming to their home. She is a keeper said Mrs. Adams.
To all the wonderful people at Home Instead,
Our deepest appreciation and thanks to all of your for caring, understanding, and love that you gave to our mom during these last years. You brought much comfort to her life each day and provided her with the quality of life she wanted and deserved. You also have been a source of comfort for the family. We all feel very close to you. Thank you again and God bless you.
Fondly,
The Fay W. Family
My most rewarding experiences as a caregiver are not so different from my most rewarding experiences in life---when someone touches my heart. I’d like to share one such experience.
A few months ago, I stayed with a gentleman, nearly 90, for but a few short hours. As we sat in lounge chairs, looking out his garage at a pretty landscape, he informed me that he had lost his wife not many years ago. He pulled out a harmonica and proceeded to play the old standard, “You Are My Sunshine.” He said, “ That was our favorite song.” I was quite moved and made a mental note of how he made me feel.
As fate would have it, a couple of months later, I was called back to care for my musical friend. This time, I came prepared with my guitar in hand. We sat down in his living room and I told him, “I have a little song I’d like to sing to you.” It was “You Are My Sunshine.”
As I sang and played, his eyes filled with tears and my heart filled with joy. I sang every only song I could remember, me on guitar, he on harmonica. At the end of the shift as I was walked out the door, he said, “Can I ask you a big favor?”
“Sure,” I said.
“Would you sing “You Are My Sunshine one more time?”
Patricia M.,Dorothy S., Gail F., Priscilla W., Stacy S., llona B., Ruth D., and Carol A-M.,
Our deepest appreciation and thanks to all of you for the caring, understanding, and the love that you gave to our Mom during these last years. You brought much comfort to her life each day and provided her with the quality of life she wanted and deserved. You’ve been a source of comfort for our family. We all feel very close to you. Thank you again and God Bless you.
Fondly,
The family of Mrs. W
Our family could not ask for anything more…the services being provided are outstanding!! Bibby continues to go over and beyond his normal work responsibilities. Starting last weekend, we are now fortunate enough to have him work on Saturdays…this is a very good thing for my Mom. Whenever we can get her out of the house, we do.
If you ever need any information, please do not hesitate to send me an email.
Thank you,
Doreen
